Saturday, November 26, 2011
Is this the most stupid question ever asked?
-Richard Dawkins: Why do you support faith schools for children who are too young to have chosen their faith, thereby implicitly labelling them with the faith of their parents, whereas you wouldn't dream of so labelling a "Keynesian child" or a "Conservative child"?
-
David Cameron: Comparing John Maynard Keynes to Jesus Christ shows, in my view, why Richard Dawkins just doesn't really get it. I think faith schools are very often very good schools. Why? Because the organisation that's backing them - the church or the mosque or the synagogue - is part of the community. And it brings a sense of community and the backing of an institution to a school. The church was providing good schools long before the state got involved, and we should respect the fact that it's not just the state that can provide education but other bodies, too.
-
Good answer, Mr Cameron
Monday, November 21, 2011
2011 - Annus Mirabilis
Perfection, of a kind, was what he was after,And the poetry he invented was easy to understand;
He knew human folly like the back of his hand,
And was greatly interested in armies and fleets;
When he laughed, respectable senators burst with laughter,
And when he cried the little chidren died in the streets.
- Epitaph on a Tyrant, W.H. Auden, 1939
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Obama's "tell" signs of body language
Obama's unconscious body language on Dominique Strauss-Kahn: "You toucha my wife, I smasha your face" ... http://pic.twitter.com/NNaEdMt5
Saturday, October 15, 2011
How the Greeks see Europe
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Conspiracy theories for bored Parisians
When the French philosopher and author Albert Camus died in a car accident in 1960 just two years after winning the Nobel prize for literature, France mourned a freakish tragedy.
In Camus's pocket was an unused return train ticket from his home in Provence to Paris. The 46-year-old writer had intended to travel back after the Christmas holidays by train with his wife Francine and their teenage twins Catherine and Jean. Instead, his friend and publisher Michel Gallimard offered to drive him.
Camus was killed instantly when Gallimard's powerful Facel Vega car left the icy road and ploughed into a tree. Gallimard died a few days later. As well as the train ticket, police found 144 pages of handwritten manuscript in the wreckage entitled The First Man, an unfinished novel based on Camus's childhood in Algeria and which he had predicted would be his finest work. The tragedy shocked and saddened France. But no one imagined that the crash had been anything other than an accident.
The Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera has now suggested that Soviet spies might have been behind the crash. The theory is based on remarks by Giovanni Catelli, an Italian academic and poet, who noted that a passage in a diary written by the celebrated Czech poet and translator Jan Zábrana, and published as a book entitled Celý život, was missing from the Italian translation.
Olivier Todd, a former BBC correspondent in Paris, whose biography, Albert Camus: Une Vie [A Life], was published in English in 2000, told the Observer that during research in Soviet archives he had not come across any reference to Moscow ordering the author's assassination. "My first reaction is that nothing about the activities of the KGB and its successors would surprise me, but this claim has left me flabbergasted. You have to ask yourself who would benefit from this coming out and why."
He added: "It's interesting and amusing and it is certainly true that KGB documentation is full of accounts of how the Soviets used the Czechs to do their dirty work. But while I wouldn't put it past the KGB to do such a thing, I don't believe the story is true."
(The Observer, 7 August 2011)
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Relics and Pilgrimage
Went to see the British Museum exhibition called Treasures of Heaven: saints, relics and devotion in Medieval Europe.
Highly relevant today.
At the end there was a three minute silent film showing modern cult of celebrity and remembrance: crowds and flowers at Graceland, crowds and flowers after Princess Diana's death, crowds queueing to see Lenin's mausoleum, and Mikhail Gorbachev visiting the desk at the British Library where Marl Marx worked.
In the same week, Amy Winehouse's dad was handing out items of her clothing to gathered fans in Camden Square.
"There is no new thing under the sun" - Ecclesiastes 1:9
Saturday, July 30, 2011
British Museum - 30 July 2011
Costumes from Oman and The Balkans. Plus artefacts from the Africa Gallery. The chair is from Mozambique.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Ceasefire, by Michael Longley
I
Put in mind of his own father and moved to tears
Achilles took him by the hand and pushed the old king
Gently away, but Priam curled up at his feet and
Wept with him until their sadness filled the building.
II
Taking Hector's corpse into his own hands Achilles
Made sure it was washed and, for the old king's sake,
Laid out in uniform, ready for Priam to carry
Wrapped like a present home to Troy at daybreak.
III
When they had eaten together, it pleased them both
To stare at each other's beauty as lovers might,
Achilles built like a god, Priam good-looking still
And full of conversation, who earlier had sighed:
IV
'I get down on my knees and do what must be done
And kiss Achilles' hand, the killer of my son.'
Michael Longley, "Ceasefire"
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Barack Obama as Marsellus Wallace
Marsellus: I'm prepared to scour the the Earth for that motherfucker. If he goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass. (Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino)
Nothing beside remains
b
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away".
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away".
- Ozymandias, King of Kings (Shelley)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
IBM Centennial films
1
Moon landings. Invention of bar code. Invention of airline reservations.
1
Two great short films to celebrate IBM's 100 years.
1
Great achievements by a great company. One of the greatest.
1
The second film, called They Were There, is directed by Errol Morris with music by Philip Glass. Available to download free on i-Tunes. On YouTube as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrhDaAmn5Uw; http://www.ibm.com/ibm100/us/en/films/.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Do The Right Thing
Mister Senor Love Daddy: WE LOVE ROLL CALL, Y'ALL! Boogie Down Productions, Rob Base, Dana Dane, Marley Marl, Olatunji, Chuck D, Ray Charles, EPMD, EU, Alberta Hunter, Run-D.M.C., Stetsasonic, Sugar Bear, John Coltrane, Big Daddy Kane, Salt-n-Pepa, Luther Vandross, McCoy Tyner, Biz Markie, New Edition, Otis Redding, Anita Baker, Thelonious Monk, Marcus Miller, Branford Marsalis, James Brown, Wayne Shorter, Tracy Chapman, Miles Davis, Force MDs, Oliver Nelson, Fred Wesley, Maceo, Janet Jackson, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, George Clinton, Count Basie, Mtume, Stevie Wonder, Bobby McFerrin, Dexter Gordon, Sam Cooke, Parliament-Funkadelic, Al Jarreau, Teddy Pendergrass, Joe Williams, Wynton Marsalis, Phyllis Hyman, Sade, Sarah Vaughn, Roland Kirk, Keith Sweat, Kool Moe Dee, Prince, Ella Fitzgerald, Dianne Reeves, Aretha Franklin, Bob Marley, Bessie Smith, Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick, Steel Pulse, Little Richard, Mahalia Jackson, Jackie Wilson, Cannonball AND Nat Adderley, Quincy Jones Marvin Gaye, Charles Mingus AND Marion Williams.
b
We wanna thank you all for makin' our lives just a little brighter here on We Love Radio!
b
We wanna thank you all for makin' our lives just a little brighter here on We Love Radio!
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Twitter - Words, words, words
It has been a year and a half since I wrote anything on this blog. I use Twitter - http://twitter.com/JamesNeophytou.
Can say all you need in 140 characters. http://twitter.com/JamesNeophytou
Can say all you need in 140 characters. http://twitter.com/JamesNeophytou
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Switching to Twitter
https://twitter.com/JamesNeophytou
Trying out Twitter. http://twitter.com/home
JamesNeophytou
a) Because I don't see the point of it, and want to try it before having an opinion.
b) Because I have no time for long chats on blog. One sentence at a time probably what my attention span can accommodate these days.
Trying out Twitter. http://twitter.com/home
JamesNeophytou
a) Because I don't see the point of it, and want to try it before having an opinion.
b) Because I have no time for long chats on blog. One sentence at a time probably what my attention span can accommodate these days.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Now is the winter of our discontent
b
b
"About 2,000 workers at 17 sites across the country have been taking part in unofficial strikes protesting at the use of foreign labour. The protests started at the TOTAL Lindsey oil refinery in Lincolnshire. An Italian company that has been subcontracted to work on the site is using its existing employees. Trade unions maintain that the jobs ought to have gone to British workers" - The Times, 31 Jan 2009
"NOW IS THE DISCOUNT OF OUR WINTER TENTS" - sign in camping shop window, Stratford-Upon-Avon
It is the Italian workers I feel sorry for.
b
Holed up in a floatel, wanting to work.
The UK is bound through membership of the European Union to welcome workers from other EU states.
The contract was won fairly and the contractor used its employees.
The UK is bound through membership of the European Union to welcome workers from other EU states.
The contract was won fairly and the contractor used its employees.
I have no idea what the phrase "British jobs for British people" means. It sounds like something from 70 years ago.
British workers who are unable to find jobs in a severe downturn have understandable reason for frustration, but it is economically illiterate to suppose that domestic living standards and employment are damaged by the free movement of labour.
Economists refer to the “lump of labour fallacy”. This is the notion that there is a fixed amount of work to be done in the world, so that if jobs are taken by foreign workers then domestic workers will lose out.
A similar grievously mistaken notion was advanced, and refuted, when women entered the labour force in large numbers for the first time.
Workers not only take jobs, they also create jobs. When they spend their wages, they increase the demand for consumer goods and services. Even large-scale immigration has only a minuscule effect on unemployment and wage levels.
Economists refer to the “lump of labour fallacy”. This is the notion that there is a fixed amount of work to be done in the world, so that if jobs are taken by foreign workers then domestic workers will lose out.
A similar grievously mistaken notion was advanced, and refuted, when women entered the labour force in large numbers for the first time.
Workers not only take jobs, they also create jobs. When they spend their wages, they increase the demand for consumer goods and services. Even large-scale immigration has only a minuscule effect on unemployment and wage levels.
b
In 1936, The Jarrow March was a protest march against unemployment and extreme poverty suffered in North East England. The 200 marchers travelled from the town of Jarrow to the Palace of Westminster in London, a distance of almost 300 miles, to lobby Parliament. When the marchers completed their feat, very little was done for them. The ship industries remained closed and all that they were given was £1 each to get the train back from London.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Jump
Demonstrators protest against the proposed $700 billion Wall Street bail-out in front of the New York Stock Exchange.(Photo: NICHOLAS ROBERTS/AFP/Getty Images)
Harold Pinter, born 10 October 1930; died 24 December 2008
By Janie Dee, in The Independent, Sunday 28th December 2008
"Today I'm thinking of Harold Pinter with sadness, but mostly with gratitude. Wanting to remember everything. Such as the first run through of his play Betrayal, in which I played Emma, in 2003. He turned up in his dark glasses. At the end he took them off and announced to Peter Hall that he thought it could be "the best" and that he was taking us all out to lunch. Peter later reassured us that the invitation was a sure sign of his approval.
I nervously asked him over for lunch with his wife, Antonia Fraser, (well, we did live round the corner). I made Irish stew as a nod to the play. They were easy, charming and fascinating together. We talked about how our five-year-old daughter Matilda had said "fuck off" in the bath the night before, then the conversation moved on to politics. I confided that I'd felt confused about Tony Blair recently, that he seemed to be making sense on the telly. Harold looked me straight in the eye. "Janie," he said, "let me make one thing absolutely clear. Tony Blair is a CUNT." After a slight pause, Antonia said: "Well I'm glad Matilda wasn't around to hear that."
A couple of years later in Dublin I was playing Kate in Old Times, as part of a Pinter Festival. We knew that, despite his illness, he was "here". In a hushed VIP room, the door slightly opened. In I went in my curlers. "Hello," I whispered. "Janie!" replied his deep, no nonsense, unmistakable voice. That look: completely direct, warm, twinkling – though it could be challenging when someone asked him a silly question and he would ask, "What do you mean?"
On the last day of the Pinter Festival in Dublin's gorgeous Gate Theatre, Derek Jacobi, Penelope Wilton, Michael Gambon, Sinead Cusack and Jeremy Irons turned out in tribute to him. Derek feigned inability. Penny swore a lot. Michael giggled. We read Celebration, which brought the house down. Harold came to the foot of the stage and shook our hands. Later, I sat next to him at dinner. I mentioned that American audiences were good and he erupted.
We first met when the Iraq war was a potential threat. "Excuse me," I said. "My name is Janie Dee and I am producing the London Concert for Peace, please could I ask you for some words?" The words were delivered to my address that afternoon in the shape of two poems: "God bless America" and "The Bombs". I decided that "God bless America" was too accusatory. He called to say: "Either you use both my poems or none at all." I was shocked, scared, irritated... then moved that he should care and bother. I would later find out that he would always care and always bother. Of course, both poems were done, and "God bless America" brought the house down.
The last time I saw Harold was in Windsor. He came to Peter Hall's production of Old Times and took us to dinner in a restaurant that I had only dreamed of going to as a child. He looked so handsome. He was charming, enthusiastic and clear about everything. He turned to me at one point and said directly: "I love it when you really go for it at the end there."
It had as much significance as when he had once turned to me and said slowly and precisely: "I've written another poem. It goes like this: 'And so it goes on... and on... and on.... And so it goes on... and on... and on.... And so it goes on, And so it goes on, And so it goes on... and on... and on...'" He paused. I waited. "Don't feel that you need make any comment," he said. And grinned."
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sexual fantasies 'can trigger sneezing fits'
(By John von Radowitz, PA)
Sneezing may give a lot more away than the fact that someone has a cold. It could mean he or she is thinking lurid thoughts about sex, say scientists.
Researchers have found evidence that in certain people sneezing can be triggered by sexual fantasy.
The news could lead to raised eyebrows on the bus or train next time a passenger snorts into a tissue.
Both men and women are susceptible to the problem, which may be inherited. It is thought to be closely linked to the way sunlight can make some people sneeze.
Dr Mahmood Bhutta, an ear, nose and throat specialist at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, launched the study after seeing a patient who suffered "uncontrollable" sneezing fits every time he had a sexual thought.
"We thought this unusual and performed a literature search of the topic," he wrote in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.
Together with colleague Dr Harold Maxwell, a retired consultant psychiatrist, Dr Bhutta scoured internet chatrooms looking for examples of conversations about sneezing and sex.
Typing the words "sex, sneeze OR sneezing" into Google produced a surprising number of hits. Seventeen people of both sexes reported sneezing immediately they thought about sex, and three had the same experience after orgasm.
"Although internet reports do not give us an accurate incidence of these phenomena, our findings do suggest that it is much more common than recognised," wrote Dr Bhutta and Dr Maxwell.
Sneezing usually occurs in response to nasal irritation, triggering a reflex that expels air at speeds of around 150 kilometres an hour.
Eyebrow plucking can also provoke sneezing by stimulating the trigeminal nerve, which produces sensations in the face.
But other more puzzling sneezing triggers are also known, said the researchers.
One was the "photic sneeze reflex" - an apparently inherited sneezing reaction to looking at bright sunlight, which affects almost a quarter of the population.
More rarely, there were cases of people from the same family sneezing after meals.
Dr Bhutta said he believed sneezing when thinking about sex probably ran in families too, but was less likely to be discussed by children and parents.
He added: "It certainly seems odd, but I think this reflex demonstrates evolutionary relics in the wiring of a part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system.
"This is the part beyond our control, and which controls things like our heart rate and the amount of light let in by our pupils. Sometimes the signals in this system get crossed, and I think this may be why some people sneeze when they think about sex."
Sneezing may give a lot more away than the fact that someone has a cold. It could mean he or she is thinking lurid thoughts about sex, say scientists.
Researchers have found evidence that in certain people sneezing can be triggered by sexual fantasy.
The news could lead to raised eyebrows on the bus or train next time a passenger snorts into a tissue.
Both men and women are susceptible to the problem, which may be inherited. It is thought to be closely linked to the way sunlight can make some people sneeze.
Dr Mahmood Bhutta, an ear, nose and throat specialist at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, launched the study after seeing a patient who suffered "uncontrollable" sneezing fits every time he had a sexual thought.
"We thought this unusual and performed a literature search of the topic," he wrote in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.
Together with colleague Dr Harold Maxwell, a retired consultant psychiatrist, Dr Bhutta scoured internet chatrooms looking for examples of conversations about sneezing and sex.
Typing the words "sex, sneeze OR sneezing" into Google produced a surprising number of hits. Seventeen people of both sexes reported sneezing immediately they thought about sex, and three had the same experience after orgasm.
"Although internet reports do not give us an accurate incidence of these phenomena, our findings do suggest that it is much more common than recognised," wrote Dr Bhutta and Dr Maxwell.
Sneezing usually occurs in response to nasal irritation, triggering a reflex that expels air at speeds of around 150 kilometres an hour.
Eyebrow plucking can also provoke sneezing by stimulating the trigeminal nerve, which produces sensations in the face.
But other more puzzling sneezing triggers are also known, said the researchers.
One was the "photic sneeze reflex" - an apparently inherited sneezing reaction to looking at bright sunlight, which affects almost a quarter of the population.
More rarely, there were cases of people from the same family sneezing after meals.
Dr Bhutta said he believed sneezing when thinking about sex probably ran in families too, but was less likely to be discussed by children and parents.
He added: "It certainly seems odd, but I think this reflex demonstrates evolutionary relics in the wiring of a part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system.
"This is the part beyond our control, and which controls things like our heart rate and the amount of light let in by our pupils. Sometimes the signals in this system get crossed, and I think this may be why some people sneeze when they think about sex."
The President of the Board of Trade
"This high official, all allow,
Is grossly overpaid,
There wasn't any Board; and now
There isn't any Trade"
- Sir Alan Herbert, 1922
Byzantium, 330 - 1453, Royal Academy of Arts
Went to see the Byzantium exhibition yesterday. It is miraculous.
On until March 2009.
Overwhelming to see things that are 1,000 years old or more.
A child's tunic with hood, and sandals, from around 700AD had me gaping for a full 10 minutes.
Leaving the exhibition I couldn't help thinking how these things have survived over 1,000 years, and we are still interested in the life of bibles, and ceremony, and chalices, and icons. Richard Dawkins may be right about the science, but he is so wrong about the need that homo sapiens has for religion.
There is a brilliant icon that reminded me of the song Stairway to Heaven ... copied above. Another highlight is the Chalice of Antioch, thought to be the Holy Grail itself.
Amazing.
Brilliant.
On until March 2009.
Overwhelming to see things that are 1,000 years old or more.
A child's tunic with hood, and sandals, from around 700AD had me gaping for a full 10 minutes.
Leaving the exhibition I couldn't help thinking how these things have survived over 1,000 years, and we are still interested in the life of bibles, and ceremony, and chalices, and icons. Richard Dawkins may be right about the science, but he is so wrong about the need that homo sapiens has for religion.
There is a brilliant icon that reminded me of the song Stairway to Heaven ... copied above. Another highlight is the Chalice of Antioch, thought to be the Holy Grail itself.
Amazing.
Brilliant.
in fact
- One in every 12,500,000 spam emails gets a response. At this response rate, hackers will make about £4,430 a day or £2.21m a year. b
- b
- Truckers are Britain's fattest male profession. In a survey of 5,000 men, more than 42 per cent of lorry drivers were found to have a waist band size above the average of 38 inches. Lawyers were the next fattest male job, followed by IT workers.
- Lyon have won their league title for the past seven seasons—making France the least competitive of UEFA's 53 nations, except for Moldova, where Sheriff Tiraspot have won eight straight titles dating back to 2001.
- Elephants cannot jump.
- 50 per cent of British Muslim women go to university, compared to a national average of 38 per cent.
- A Rubik's cube has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 permutations. (New York Times magazine, 28th November 2008)
- There are around 20 families with the name Obama in the US, compared with more than 11,000 Clintons and 60,000 Bushes. There is only one known Obama family in Britain; they live in Clapham. (Washington Post, 28th November 2008 & BBC News, 4th February 2008)
- 98 per cent of the Aston Martins ever produced are still on the road.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
New Statesman - descriptions of the famous
David Cameron
. . . looks like the kind of man who applies Brylcreem to his teeth and toothpaste to his hair.
John Prescott
. . . went through life looking both surprised and angry to find himself standing under the right head of hair.
Leon Brittan
. . . even in a good mood, wore an expression that said: "I am not going to waste a perfectly good sneer on you."
Peter Mandelson
. . . looks as if his hair has been forbidden to grow beyond a certain length.
David Miliband
. . . looks like the sort who should be wearing a trilby.
Gordon Brown
. . . is the kind of person who would reverse the charges dialling 999.
Nelson Mandela
. . . is an old South African guy who has spent half his life in jail and the other half attending rock concerts and getting kissed by Spice Girls.
Simon Cowell
. . . is a man with his ear perpetually to the grindstone.
Peter Mandelson
. . . has the aura of a man for whom the self-opening door might have been invented.
Iain Duncan Smith
. . . speaks with the voice of someone who has mistaken battery acid for mouthwash.
. . . looks like the kind of man who applies Brylcreem to his teeth and toothpaste to his hair.
John Prescott
. . . went through life looking both surprised and angry to find himself standing under the right head of hair.
Leon Brittan
. . . even in a good mood, wore an expression that said: "I am not going to waste a perfectly good sneer on you."
Peter Mandelson
. . . looks as if his hair has been forbidden to grow beyond a certain length.
David Miliband
. . . looks like the sort who should be wearing a trilby.
Gordon Brown
. . . is the kind of person who would reverse the charges dialling 999.
Nelson Mandela
. . . is an old South African guy who has spent half his life in jail and the other half attending rock concerts and getting kissed by Spice Girls.
Simon Cowell
. . . is a man with his ear perpetually to the grindstone.
Peter Mandelson
. . . has the aura of a man for whom the self-opening door might have been invented.
Iain Duncan Smith
. . . speaks with the voice of someone who has mistaken battery acid for mouthwash.
Friday, November 28, 2008
New Pinter play
b
b
b
b
b
Verbatim: Joe Kinnear's first press conference as Newcastle United Manager
3rd October 2008
Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird ? (Daily Mirror journalist)
Bird: Me.
JK: You're a c---.
Bird: Thank you
JK: Which one is Hickman ? (Niall Hickman, Daily Express)
3rd October 2008
Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird ? (Daily Mirror journalist)
Bird: Me.
JK: You're a c---.
Bird: Thank you
JK: Which one is Hickman ? (Niall Hickman, Daily Express)
You are out of order. Absolutely f------ out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can f--- off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that f----- crap. No f------ way, lies.
F---, you're saying I turned up and they f----- off.
Bird: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?
JK: I've f----- read it, I've read it.
Bird: It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK: You are trying to f------ undermine my position already.
Bird: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK: F--- off. F--- off. It's your last f------ chance.
Bird: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
Bird: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK: You are negative b-------, the pair of you.
Bird: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and telling I am taking the first day off?
JK: It is none of your f------ business. What the f--- are you going to do? You ain’t got the balls to be a f------ manager. F------ day off. Do I want your opinion? Do I have to listen to you?
Bird: No, you can listen to who you want.
JK: I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
Bird: Joe you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.
JK: No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
Bird: What? More important things?
JK: What are you? My personal secretary? F--- off.
Bird: You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday? You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them?
JK: I was meeting the f------ chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
Bird: It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.
JK: I can't trust any of you.
Hickman: Joe no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.
JK: My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.
Hickman: But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK: I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted are you?
Hickman: Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?
JK: I have done it before. It is going to my f------ lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not f------ about. I don't talk to f------ anybody. Everything I f------ say or do. It is raking up stories. You are f------ so f------ slimy: you are raking up players that I got rid of; players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is f------ sensible. Anyone who had played for me for ten years at any level you will find some c--- that .....
Journalist: How long is your contract for Joe?
JK: None of your business
Bird: Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six-to-eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for? It is a dead simple question. And you don't know....
JK: I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to f------ hide, he's trying to do this or that.
Bird: What happened at your meeting with Ashley?
JK: At the meeting I was asked how did it go, what reception, this that and the other. I told him not too clever. He wanted to know how the team done. I told him. Better second half than we were first half. I asked him what is the situation. Any news or updates on what is going one. He said I have six to eight consortium lined up and that is all I can tell you. That was it.
Bird: Have you met Mike before?
JK: No
Bird: Not even at the Orange Tree pub, Totteridge?
JK: You want to get your facts right. Dennis Wise never played under me.
Bird: None of us have even written that...
JK: Another one of you wrote. We met in a pub. We are friends in a pub and that is when it was done, in a pub. Good imagination eh? It is nonsense.
Will I get time and get judged on results?
Steve Brenner (Sun): We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people c---?
JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libelous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Press office: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside.
Journalist: Well, is that what Joe thinks?
JK: Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't effect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't effect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of you’s.
I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can f--- off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of c--- that has been written about me.
I am ridiculed for no reason. I am defenseless. I can't say nothing. I can't do nothing. Then half of you are trying to get into the players... and I am not going to tell you what the players think of you all. So you will think I have a split camp. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist: But it's only been a week!
I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist: It's only been a week.
Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist: It's early days for you to be like this.
No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Journalist: But this isn't going to do you or us any good.
I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me - I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like ‘well that's a load of b-------'.
Journalist: 'B------- to that' is what you said.
B------- to that.’ And what goes after that?
Journalist: That was it.
No, it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist: I don't know.
It even had the cheek to say ‘b------- to Newcastle'
Journalist: I didn't write that.
That was my first f------ day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist: Where was that? Which paper said that?
I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist: But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.
I've got it, I've got it. I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that? And why would you want to put something like that behind it?
Journalist: Are you saying that someone has reported you saying ‘B------- to Newcastle?'
Yes. Lovely.
Journalist: I don't know who's reported that.
I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist: That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.
So have I? But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't f------ bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability and get on with it. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any c--- or reading any c---. Ok? I know you've got a job to do. Stick to the truth and the facts. That's all you've got to do. Stick to the truth and, I'm saying, the facts. And don't twist anything. That's all I'm asking you. But that's impossible in journalism. Because I've been...
Journalist: You know, you know the game.
Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist: Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're c----, we can all f--- off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?
Do it. Fine. F------ print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Journalist: Ferguson said it the other day to the Man U lot. But down in London some of your best friends were journalists.
Like who?
Journalist: -------------. They were big mates of yours weren't they?
I don't know ------------------. I know a -------------. But they were honest. They were honest. They didn't twist anything I had to say. That's why they were my friends. I'm as straight as they come, but I will stand up and fight for myself in any corner. You're not going to f---- me off or frighten me in any manner. Whatever you do, or whatever headlines you run,you're not going to embarrass me. I'm not going to stand for it. I've come up here for a simple chance to f------ prove myself. Just wait, wait and make a decision after whatever period of time you want to. That's fine. Until then, get off my back and let me get on with my job. That all I ask. Just do that. That's all I ask of you. f------ hell. Was it last week, who wrote the headline ‘It's gone from bad to worse, it's Morecambe and Wise'. That's one f------ headline. I've got that as well. I don't know which one of you has done that. ‘It's a circus now', that's another f------ headline. ‘The circus leader's come to town', another headline. That's journalists. Are you happy with that?
Journalist: The people who write the headlines are based in London. We don't write them.
JK: Am I supposed to be delighted with it?
Journalist: Newcastle has been called a circus long before you arrived.
JK: Yeah, I'm the ringmaster of the circus.
Journalist: It's the situation. It's not just you. The club's up for sale. It's the whole situation of the past three months, all the Keegan stuff, whatever, that you've come into. But you're not the spearhead of everything. It's not a case of 'you've come in so now we're going to slaughter you'. That's not how it works.
JK: For two days I don't think I saw a decent report. There might be one today. For the first two days, I haven't seen one. Not one. A pile like that (gestures). Some of you are either feeding some dummy to say even more, to put the boot in even more. So it's like that.
Journalist: But you've hardly come in to a club where it's stable anyway, there are so many other problems going on, everyone…
JK: But why do you want stories on the negative side?
Journalist: (Unintelligible).
JK: The only way to get the positives is to get a result.
Journalist: Seriously, with the best will in the world, when you got the job, the club released a statement, and in your first interviews you contradicted that statement by saying you'd got the job for a longer period of time, you admitted you got the job because everybody else had said no.
JK: Well I can't tell a lie about that, that's a fact.
Journalist: You said that Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan were parked around the corner to get the manager's job after you.
JK: Hold on, hold on. I said that was relayed to me. But you didn't put that in though. You missed that bit out. You did, I saw it as well. You wrote it "I'm not saying it was you" in such a way that you didn't put in half the things that I said. You twisted it each time. I've been in the game long enough to know that.
Journalist: Can I finish my point?
JK: Yes, well I'm telling you your answer.
Journalist: We have to reflect and report on and try and find out what's going on at this football club. In your first public statements you contradicted things and said things.
JK: Tell me what I contradicted.
Journalist: The length of the contract, who was coming in next ...
JK: Do you want to see it? So you're calling me a liar then?
Journlist: No, I'm saying that it was a contradiction of the club's statement, which we've already established.
JK: I didn't know that. I didn't know there was a statement, why didn't you tell me you had a statement?
Journalist: I think we did say that.
JK: I told you exactly what the truth was. What it says on my contract.
Journalist: Yes but it was contradictory to what the club said.
JK: Ok, I take your point.
Journalist: You also made several other points that we had to find the truth out of. KK and Alan Shearer. Now if we approach those people and they say 'no, we've never heard of it', it doesn't help the feeling around the club.
JK: Well where have you been then? Where have you been before I come, what were the headlines then? Where were you? Another planet.
Journalist: It was chaotic before you got there.
JK: No. The write up. What was the write up.
Journalist: Sorry, I don't know what you're asking me.
JK: The write up was the consortium from Nigeria or wherever it might be, the agent spoke quite clearly that he had spoken to Mr Ashley and we've decided on such a such fee and yes, hold on, let me finish, you might have wrote it, it's true to say that I'm in talks with KK and AS. Right, ok. So that's written.
Journalist: That doesn't mean it's true.
Really? You asked me what the consortium said. And I said exactly what was said in that paper. And I'm saying exactly what was told to me. I've got no reason to say it and you tried to change it, whoever it is, one or two of you, that you thought I was hiding behind it. Yes you did, yes you did.
Journalist: There's a difference between a consortium coming in and saying we want KK and we've spoken to KK and you reporting what Mike Ashley is telling you, that KK and AS are parked round the corner.
No. Mike Ashley told me that he had got that from the consortium. So you're not getting your facts write. So when I said the consortium told MA who told me, that was discreetly missed, it was missed and so you go onto the negative stuff.
Journalist: The point I'm trying to make is that this was your first day in the job and it's created more chaos and unrest and we've reflected that. It's not about you as a manager. I don't think of us have called into question your ability as a manager or what you bring..
What are you talking about? I've been crucified. Absolutely crucified in every single newspaper.
Journalists: No, that's not true.
Absolutely. Morecome and Wise headlines!
Journalist: You said yourself you got offered the job because everyone else had turned it down.
What's that got to do with Morecome and Wise?
Journalist: I don't know, I didn't write that headline. You said that fans would be disappointed you got the job.
Yes.
Journalist: right, ok, we've reflected that. No one has criticised your qualities as a manager.
We've not seen them, we've not seen the evidence on the pitch.
What other way did I get the job then?
Journalist: Sorry?
What other way did I get the job then?
Journalist: Because of your track record?
No I got the job because I was honest. Half a dozed managers turned it down. Ask them what reasons they turned it down. Why did they turn it down?
Journalist: I don't know.
Well they you are then. Do your ------- homework and ask them.
Journalist: But that's the reason why it's farcical. Not just you, it's the whole situation. Nothing specific about you. The farce is that it's a club up for sale with no manager, six people are turning down interim jobs, it's not you. Dennis and Mike can't even come to the ground, it's the whole situation, the squad's threadbare. This all predates your arrival. But your arrival didn't help the situation in the short-term, that's what I was trying to say.
It's not 100 per cent personal with you, no way. Even Chris a few days before had admitted he'd had no contact with the people upstairs. It's the whole lot that's a farce, that's the thing. If you look at the papers before your arrival, they're exactly the same, that this club had become a laughing stock. The fans are saying it, go on the message boards. They're saying even worse than us. We're just reflecting the whole situation, it's not just Joe Kinnear. Then you're banned for the first two matches. Not your fault, but it doesn't help the mood around the club. Is your decision not to speak to us final?
I think so, yeah. I don't see any future in it, anyway. Whatever happens, the only way I'm going to win anything is by getting results. And it's still going to be negative, negative, negative. I'm reading one negative story after another after another. Half of the stuff is ----, I don't know where you're getting your information from or who's feeding you the stuff. Anything I tell you, you can write. You can write what I've said today. Go on, bang away. I've said it and done it. I don't have to hide anything.
Journalist: I don't think it's in your interests and it's certainly not in our interests "I'm being selfish" not to speak to us. I don't think that's a good decision. Obviously you're very angry and perhaps with some justification in certain circumstances, but I don't know if that's a good decision on your behalf in the long run.
Well that's your point of view.
Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we' re not discussing it.
Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
Press officer: I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said on both sides and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
Press officer: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
(Silence)
Journalist: Any knocks?
Press officer: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's the training going?
It's going very well. No problems at all.
Journalist: Do you feel as though they've accepted you?
Yeah, I think so.
Journalist: Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?
Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it. What can I say? I don't need any more burdens than what's happening at the moment. The only thing I want to be doing is to be left alone to work with the players, try and get a vocal voice and feedback from the players. I've sat them all done and had one on ones with Michael, Nicky Butt, Shay Givens, I mean Given, you'll pick up on that again. And it's been good. I've enjoyed it. It's difficult asking players to play out of position and getting some shape in the team.
F-words: 36, C-words: 4, B-words: 6. Total: 46
Bird: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?
JK: I've f----- read it, I've read it.
Bird: It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK: You are trying to f------ undermine my position already.
Bird: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK: F--- off. F--- off. It's your last f------ chance.
Bird: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
Bird: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK: You are negative b-------, the pair of you.
Bird: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and telling I am taking the first day off?
JK: It is none of your f------ business. What the f--- are you going to do? You ain’t got the balls to be a f------ manager. F------ day off. Do I want your opinion? Do I have to listen to you?
Bird: No, you can listen to who you want.
JK: I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
Bird: Joe you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.
JK: No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
Bird: What? More important things?
JK: What are you? My personal secretary? F--- off.
Bird: You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday? You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them?
JK: I was meeting the f------ chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
Bird: It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.
JK: I can't trust any of you.
Hickman: Joe no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.
JK: My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.
Hickman: But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK: I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted are you?
Hickman: Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?
JK: I have done it before. It is going to my f------ lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not f------ about. I don't talk to f------ anybody. Everything I f------ say or do. It is raking up stories. You are f------ so f------ slimy: you are raking up players that I got rid of; players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is f------ sensible. Anyone who had played for me for ten years at any level you will find some c--- that .....
Journalist: How long is your contract for Joe?
JK: None of your business
Bird: Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six-to-eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for? It is a dead simple question. And you don't know....
JK: I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to f------ hide, he's trying to do this or that.
Bird: What happened at your meeting with Ashley?
JK: At the meeting I was asked how did it go, what reception, this that and the other. I told him not too clever. He wanted to know how the team done. I told him. Better second half than we were first half. I asked him what is the situation. Any news or updates on what is going one. He said I have six to eight consortium lined up and that is all I can tell you. That was it.
Bird: Have you met Mike before?
JK: No
Bird: Not even at the Orange Tree pub, Totteridge?
JK: You want to get your facts right. Dennis Wise never played under me.
Bird: None of us have even written that...
JK: Another one of you wrote. We met in a pub. We are friends in a pub and that is when it was done, in a pub. Good imagination eh? It is nonsense.
Will I get time and get judged on results?
Steve Brenner (Sun): We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people c---?
JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libelous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Press office: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside.
Journalist: Well, is that what Joe thinks?
JK: Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't effect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't effect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of you’s.
I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can f--- off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of c--- that has been written about me.
I am ridiculed for no reason. I am defenseless. I can't say nothing. I can't do nothing. Then half of you are trying to get into the players... and I am not going to tell you what the players think of you all. So you will think I have a split camp. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist: But it's only been a week!
I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist: It's only been a week.
Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist: It's early days for you to be like this.
No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Journalist: But this isn't going to do you or us any good.
I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me - I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like ‘well that's a load of b-------'.
Journalist: 'B------- to that' is what you said.
B------- to that.’ And what goes after that?
Journalist: That was it.
No, it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist: I don't know.
It even had the cheek to say ‘b------- to Newcastle'
Journalist: I didn't write that.
That was my first f------ day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist: Where was that? Which paper said that?
I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist: But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.
I've got it, I've got it. I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that? And why would you want to put something like that behind it?
Journalist: Are you saying that someone has reported you saying ‘B------- to Newcastle?'
Yes. Lovely.
Journalist: I don't know who's reported that.
I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist: That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.
So have I? But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't f------ bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability and get on with it. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any c--- or reading any c---. Ok? I know you've got a job to do. Stick to the truth and the facts. That's all you've got to do. Stick to the truth and, I'm saying, the facts. And don't twist anything. That's all I'm asking you. But that's impossible in journalism. Because I've been...
Journalist: You know, you know the game.
Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist: Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're c----, we can all f--- off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?
Do it. Fine. F------ print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Journalist: Ferguson said it the other day to the Man U lot. But down in London some of your best friends were journalists.
Like who?
Journalist: -------------. They were big mates of yours weren't they?
I don't know ------------------. I know a -------------. But they were honest. They were honest. They didn't twist anything I had to say. That's why they were my friends. I'm as straight as they come, but I will stand up and fight for myself in any corner. You're not going to f---- me off or frighten me in any manner. Whatever you do, or whatever headlines you run,you're not going to embarrass me. I'm not going to stand for it. I've come up here for a simple chance to f------ prove myself. Just wait, wait and make a decision after whatever period of time you want to. That's fine. Until then, get off my back and let me get on with my job. That all I ask. Just do that. That's all I ask of you. f------ hell. Was it last week, who wrote the headline ‘It's gone from bad to worse, it's Morecambe and Wise'. That's one f------ headline. I've got that as well. I don't know which one of you has done that. ‘It's a circus now', that's another f------ headline. ‘The circus leader's come to town', another headline. That's journalists. Are you happy with that?
Journalist: The people who write the headlines are based in London. We don't write them.
JK: Am I supposed to be delighted with it?
Journalist: Newcastle has been called a circus long before you arrived.
JK: Yeah, I'm the ringmaster of the circus.
Journalist: It's the situation. It's not just you. The club's up for sale. It's the whole situation of the past three months, all the Keegan stuff, whatever, that you've come into. But you're not the spearhead of everything. It's not a case of 'you've come in so now we're going to slaughter you'. That's not how it works.
JK: For two days I don't think I saw a decent report. There might be one today. For the first two days, I haven't seen one. Not one. A pile like that (gestures). Some of you are either feeding some dummy to say even more, to put the boot in even more. So it's like that.
Journalist: But you've hardly come in to a club where it's stable anyway, there are so many other problems going on, everyone…
JK: But why do you want stories on the negative side?
Journalist: (Unintelligible).
JK: The only way to get the positives is to get a result.
Journalist: Seriously, with the best will in the world, when you got the job, the club released a statement, and in your first interviews you contradicted that statement by saying you'd got the job for a longer period of time, you admitted you got the job because everybody else had said no.
JK: Well I can't tell a lie about that, that's a fact.
Journalist: You said that Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan were parked around the corner to get the manager's job after you.
JK: Hold on, hold on. I said that was relayed to me. But you didn't put that in though. You missed that bit out. You did, I saw it as well. You wrote it "I'm not saying it was you" in such a way that you didn't put in half the things that I said. You twisted it each time. I've been in the game long enough to know that.
Journalist: Can I finish my point?
JK: Yes, well I'm telling you your answer.
Journalist: We have to reflect and report on and try and find out what's going on at this football club. In your first public statements you contradicted things and said things.
JK: Tell me what I contradicted.
Journalist: The length of the contract, who was coming in next ...
JK: Do you want to see it? So you're calling me a liar then?
Journlist: No, I'm saying that it was a contradiction of the club's statement, which we've already established.
JK: I didn't know that. I didn't know there was a statement, why didn't you tell me you had a statement?
Journalist: I think we did say that.
JK: I told you exactly what the truth was. What it says on my contract.
Journalist: Yes but it was contradictory to what the club said.
JK: Ok, I take your point.
Journalist: You also made several other points that we had to find the truth out of. KK and Alan Shearer. Now if we approach those people and they say 'no, we've never heard of it', it doesn't help the feeling around the club.
JK: Well where have you been then? Where have you been before I come, what were the headlines then? Where were you? Another planet.
Journalist: It was chaotic before you got there.
JK: No. The write up. What was the write up.
Journalist: Sorry, I don't know what you're asking me.
JK: The write up was the consortium from Nigeria or wherever it might be, the agent spoke quite clearly that he had spoken to Mr Ashley and we've decided on such a such fee and yes, hold on, let me finish, you might have wrote it, it's true to say that I'm in talks with KK and AS. Right, ok. So that's written.
Journalist: That doesn't mean it's true.
Really? You asked me what the consortium said. And I said exactly what was said in that paper. And I'm saying exactly what was told to me. I've got no reason to say it and you tried to change it, whoever it is, one or two of you, that you thought I was hiding behind it. Yes you did, yes you did.
Journalist: There's a difference between a consortium coming in and saying we want KK and we've spoken to KK and you reporting what Mike Ashley is telling you, that KK and AS are parked round the corner.
No. Mike Ashley told me that he had got that from the consortium. So you're not getting your facts write. So when I said the consortium told MA who told me, that was discreetly missed, it was missed and so you go onto the negative stuff.
Journalist: The point I'm trying to make is that this was your first day in the job and it's created more chaos and unrest and we've reflected that. It's not about you as a manager. I don't think of us have called into question your ability as a manager or what you bring..
What are you talking about? I've been crucified. Absolutely crucified in every single newspaper.
Journalists: No, that's not true.
Absolutely. Morecome and Wise headlines!
Journalist: You said yourself you got offered the job because everyone else had turned it down.
What's that got to do with Morecome and Wise?
Journalist: I don't know, I didn't write that headline. You said that fans would be disappointed you got the job.
Yes.
Journalist: right, ok, we've reflected that. No one has criticised your qualities as a manager.
We've not seen them, we've not seen the evidence on the pitch.
What other way did I get the job then?
Journalist: Sorry?
What other way did I get the job then?
Journalist: Because of your track record?
No I got the job because I was honest. Half a dozed managers turned it down. Ask them what reasons they turned it down. Why did they turn it down?
Journalist: I don't know.
Well they you are then. Do your ------- homework and ask them.
Journalist: But that's the reason why it's farcical. Not just you, it's the whole situation. Nothing specific about you. The farce is that it's a club up for sale with no manager, six people are turning down interim jobs, it's not you. Dennis and Mike can't even come to the ground, it's the whole situation, the squad's threadbare. This all predates your arrival. But your arrival didn't help the situation in the short-term, that's what I was trying to say.
It's not 100 per cent personal with you, no way. Even Chris a few days before had admitted he'd had no contact with the people upstairs. It's the whole lot that's a farce, that's the thing. If you look at the papers before your arrival, they're exactly the same, that this club had become a laughing stock. The fans are saying it, go on the message boards. They're saying even worse than us. We're just reflecting the whole situation, it's not just Joe Kinnear. Then you're banned for the first two matches. Not your fault, but it doesn't help the mood around the club. Is your decision not to speak to us final?
I think so, yeah. I don't see any future in it, anyway. Whatever happens, the only way I'm going to win anything is by getting results. And it's still going to be negative, negative, negative. I'm reading one negative story after another after another. Half of the stuff is ----, I don't know where you're getting your information from or who's feeding you the stuff. Anything I tell you, you can write. You can write what I've said today. Go on, bang away. I've said it and done it. I don't have to hide anything.
Journalist: I don't think it's in your interests and it's certainly not in our interests "I'm being selfish" not to speak to us. I don't think that's a good decision. Obviously you're very angry and perhaps with some justification in certain circumstances, but I don't know if that's a good decision on your behalf in the long run.
Well that's your point of view.
Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we' re not discussing it.
Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
Press officer: I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said on both sides and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
Press officer: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
(Silence)
Journalist: Any knocks?
Press officer: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's the training going?
It's going very well. No problems at all.
Journalist: Do you feel as though they've accepted you?
Yeah, I think so.
Journalist: Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?
Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it. What can I say? I don't need any more burdens than what's happening at the moment. The only thing I want to be doing is to be left alone to work with the players, try and get a vocal voice and feedback from the players. I've sat them all done and had one on ones with Michael, Nicky Butt, Shay Givens, I mean Given, you'll pick up on that again. And it's been good. I've enjoyed it. It's difficult asking players to play out of position and getting some shape in the team.
F-words: 36, C-words: 4, B-words: 6. Total: 46
Saturday, November 22, 2008
in fact - Nov/Dec 2008
- Honey bees can be trained to count up to four
- Liverpool lost almost half its population between 1937 and 2001.
- Paul Newman was number 19 on Richard Nixon's enemies list.
- Ho Chi Minh worked as a pastry cook at the Carlton Hotel in London in 1916.
- More women than men accepted a place at medical and dentistry schools in 2007, with 5,128 women enrolling compared to only 3,929 men. 79 per cent of first year student vets in 2007-8 were women. 63 per cent of students enrolled with the Law Society in 2007 were women.
- In 2005, black American women were just behind white non-Hispanic men in graduation rates per capita, at 37 per cent compared to 39 per cent. If current trends continue, they will soon overtake them.
- People born in December are most likely to submit a claim for motor insurance.
- Of the top ten cities in the EU for car thefts, seven are in Italy (including the top five of Caserta, Catania, Napoli, Torino and Roma) and three are in Britain (Manchester, Nottingham, Hull).
- Barack Obama's 4th October rally in Anchorage, Alaska had four times as many attendees as Sarah Palin's rally at the same time in the same city.
- Last September, Aston Martin sold 150 cars in Britain. This September, it sold three.
- Since 1929, Republicans and Democrats have each controlled the presidency for nearly 40 years. As of 10th October 2008, a $10,000 investment in the S&P stock market index would have grown to $11,733 if invested under Republican presidents only, or $51,211 if Herbert Hoover's presidency during the depression is excluded. Invested under Democratic presidents only, it would have grown to $300,671.
- Aerosmith have made more money in royalties from the video game Guitar Hero: Aerosmith than from any of their albums.
- Liverpool lost almost half its population between 1937 and 2001.
- Paul Newman was number 19 on Richard Nixon's enemies list.
- Ho Chi Minh worked as a pastry cook at the Carlton Hotel in London in 1916.
- More women than men accepted a place at medical and dentistry schools in 2007, with 5,128 women enrolling compared to only 3,929 men. 79 per cent of first year student vets in 2007-8 were women. 63 per cent of students enrolled with the Law Society in 2007 were women.
- In 2005, black American women were just behind white non-Hispanic men in graduation rates per capita, at 37 per cent compared to 39 per cent. If current trends continue, they will soon overtake them.
- People born in December are most likely to submit a claim for motor insurance.
- Of the top ten cities in the EU for car thefts, seven are in Italy (including the top five of Caserta, Catania, Napoli, Torino and Roma) and three are in Britain (Manchester, Nottingham, Hull).
- Barack Obama's 4th October rally in Anchorage, Alaska had four times as many attendees as Sarah Palin's rally at the same time in the same city.
- Last September, Aston Martin sold 150 cars in Britain. This September, it sold three.
- Since 1929, Republicans and Democrats have each controlled the presidency for nearly 40 years. As of 10th October 2008, a $10,000 investment in the S&P stock market index would have grown to $11,733 if invested under Republican presidents only, or $51,211 if Herbert Hoover's presidency during the depression is excluded. Invested under Democratic presidents only, it would have grown to $300,671.
- Aerosmith have made more money in royalties from the video game Guitar Hero: Aerosmith than from any of their albums.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared
"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.b
"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.
b
"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.
"A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain.
"Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.
"I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.
"I was never the likeliest candidate for this office.
"We didn't start with much money or many endorsements.
"Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.
"It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give 5 and 10 and 20 to the cause.
"It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy, who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.
"It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organised and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.
"This is your victory.
"And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.
"You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.
"I promise you, we as a people will get there.
"There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.
"But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.
"What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.
"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.
"It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.
"So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.
"Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.
"Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.
"As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.
"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.
"To those - to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.
"This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.
"Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."
- Barack Obama, President-elect, Victory speech extract, 4 November 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Oh Happy Day
What a relief. 6 billion people would be going to bed every night sweating with Sarah Palin in the White House. There is definitely a place for redneck hockey moms. Alaska. Far away from us.
b
And the sight of John McCain just reminded me of chino-polo shirt-country club-golf course-yachting club-striped tie-vested interests-knee-jerk.....jerks. I have no idea if Barack Obama will be a good president. But I am proud and glad he made it.
b
Funniest line on the radio this morning: "The Democrats started the sub prime debacle, and now they're back".
Friday, October 31, 2008
Translation as negotiation
In Umberto Eco's book about translation, "Mouse or Rat?", the professor goes onto Babelfish, the online translation system by AltaVista, and plays around.
"I gave it a series of English expressions and asked it to translate them into Italian. Then I asked it to translate them back into English.
Only in the last case did I follow a more complicated path, that is: English - Italian - German - English.
"I gave it a series of English expressions and asked it to translate them into Italian. Then I asked it to translate them back into English.
Only in the last case did I follow a more complicated path, that is: English - Italian - German - English.
Here are the results: -
1. The works of Shakespeare -> Gli impianti di Shakespeare -> The plants of Shakespeare.
2. Speaker of the chamber of deputies -> Altoparlante dell'alloggiamento dei delegati -> Loudspeaker of the lodging of the delegates
3. Studies in the logic of Charles Sanders Peirce -> Studi nella logica delle sabbiatrici Peirce del Charles -> Studien in der Logik der Charlesandpapierschleifmaschinen Peirce -> Studies in the logic of the Charles of sanders paper grinding machines Peirce"
1. The works of Shakespeare -> Gli impianti di Shakespeare -> The plants of Shakespeare.
2. Speaker of the chamber of deputies -> Altoparlante dell'alloggiamento dei delegati -> Loudspeaker of the lodging of the delegates
3. Studies in the logic of Charles Sanders Peirce -> Studi nella logica delle sabbiatrici Peirce del Charles -> Studien in der Logik der Charlesandpapierschleifmaschinen Peirce -> Studies in the logic of the Charles of sanders paper grinding machines Peirce"
Sunday, October 19, 2008
in fact...Prospect magazine, October 2008
- Over the next two decades, China is likely to construct as many new buildings as Europe's total current stock.
- Between 1997 and 2007, the rise in British property values exceeded the gross earnings of all British female employees over the same period.
- China's biggest single oil supplier is Angola.
- China's biggest single oil supplier is Angola.
- 23 per cent of Germans believe the US government was behind 9/11. The figures in Britain, France and Italy are 5, 8 and 15 per cent respectively. In Egypt, just 12 per cent blame the US, although 43 per cent point the finger at Israel.
- One in four adults in New York City have herpes.
Quotes of the week:-
"I didn't see 'Jaws - the Revenge', but I did see the extension to the house that it bought" - Sir Michael Caine
"Which came first, the Chicken Nugget or the Egg McMuffin?" - Little Jackie
"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or be killed.
Every morning in Africa a lion wakes up.It knows it must out run the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn’t matter if you are a lion or a gazelle.
When the sun comes up, you better start running"
- African Proverb
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The fallacy of the mixed economy
"Nobody knows anything"
This was the punchline that William Goldman made famous when he wrote about Hollywood in his "Adventures in the Screen Trade". No-one can predict which film was going to be a hit or a flop.
In the same way, following the financial turmoil it seems no-one is actually steering, and Adam Smith's "invisible hand". has either got arthritis or has fallen asleep at the wheel.
In a sick kind of way I am actually grateful to the Republicans who pushed back on the Paulson plan, and stuck to their principles and challenged the nationalisation. It must be pretty hard for a free market politician (aren't they all?) to step back and agree to government intervention. But they have no choice and will get there.
b
The average Joe (plumber) can't figure out if the deal is really for for "Main Street or Wall Street". One thing is for sure the image and implications of the two words "The City" will never be the same again.
Double standards
Double standards
I remember in late 2006 that Christmas saving scheme - Farepak - collapsed, costing thousands of families their annual savings.
Farepak's bank HBOS, was not willing to accept a new borrowing and business plan and called in the company's overdraft.
Incredible that the pin-stripes deserve our bail out, when needy families are tossed aside as a burden.
What to do
4 things. 1. Keep your money exactly where it is. 2. Put your head out of the window, and scream "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more". 3. Read a good book. 4. Watch a good film.
b
I'd recommend three prophetic books that I have read in the past couple of years. They predicted this turmoil, not directly, but by addressing the fundamental instability of greed. Forever burying Gordon Gekko's words, "Greed is good". For a while there, people actually believed those words.
- The Shock Doctrine, by Naomi Klein. Canadian prophet takes on the free market and its architect Milton Friedman and wins.
- Afflueza, by Oliver James. Deep sickness of our times, the addiction to consumption.
- Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton. How to treat the consequences of that part of human nature that must keep up with the Jones's.
Watch "A Matter of Life and Death" and "Amelie" and "21 Grams" and "Network" and "Amores Perros" and "Sicko" and "Educating Rita" and "Glengarry Glen Ross" and "Tokyo Story" and "Intolerable Cruelty" and "Stalag 17".
And bring a spring back to your step.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Gordon's Word Cloud
This word cloud displays words in proportion to their frequency
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Marrying football and philosophy
A new football academy in France is aiming to turn its pupils not just into star goalkeepers, but top-class thinkers and citizens.Drawing inspiration from World Cup-winning keeper Fabien Barthez and philosopher Albert Camus - the unique institution aims to instil the values of citizenship in 11-16-year-olds from around the world and from all walks of life.
That means mutual respect, discipline, understanding and a sense of team spirit are as important in football, say organisers, as in the communities where they live.
One of those behind the project is Barthez, the former Manchester United and France goalkeeper.
"We're trying to get away from the idea of producing champions - we're more interested in promoting good morals among young adults," he says.
"It is important for our pupils to learn to become men, just as much as it is for them to learn to become goalkeepers.
"I want to give back to football what it has given to me."
"Everyone needs guidance for later on in life. Everything is based around the football, and expanded to show that some of the skills we learn on the pitch can be used in life.
"Every time a child saves a ball it's similar to every difficult situation they will face in life. Every time they jump to catch a ball, or go into a tackle, they need courage and commitment, and it's similar in life", he says. "
As well as the football and life-skills coaching, the students will also receive a conventional education, in line with France's school curriculum.
The academy is based in south-west France, at a school high in the Pyrenees, in the pretty spa town of Luchon.
As well as support from local businesses, international companies such as Nike, and the French FA, it appears to have captured the imagination of the sporting world - with a number of English Premier League clubs said to be watching the academy's progress closely.
Students from France and abroad will board at the local school and train every evening. They have been selected for their goalkeeping ability, and also for their resilience in what is a competitive and mentally challenging sport.
Students from France and abroad will board at the local school and train every evening. They have been selected for their goalkeeping ability, and also for their resilience in what is a competitive and mentally challenging sport.
The academy's philosophy has drawn comparisons with French writer and Nobel Prize winner, Albert Camus, an Algerian-born philosopher and goalkeeper, who saw the beautiful game as providing moral guidance and inspiration for living.
"All that I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football", he said.
By Russell Trott BBC News
Friday, September 19, 2008
in fact...(Prospect magazine, September 2008)
- Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest, and failed to make the finals.
- Catholics believe that the soul comes into existence at the exact moment of conception. In Greek Orthodoxy, "ensoulment" happens at 21 days, in Islam at 40 days, and in Judaism at 80 days.
- British Telecom spends £3m a year on removing clamps on its vehicles in London.
- 1p pieces are 97% copper. Today's high copper price means they are worth around 3p.
- Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu both have houses on Vilakazi Street, Soweto. It is the only address to house two Nobel Peace prize winners.
- The total computing power at NASA in 1957, when Sputnik was luanched, was less than that available in a mobile phone today.
- Percentage of children under 12 in England who have visited: -
Spain 57%, France 54%, Wales 44%, Scotland 39%
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Le beau jeu est terminé
"The Beautiful Game is Over: The Globalisation of Football", has just been published by Professor John Samuels, Emeritus Professor of Business Finance at the University of Birmingham.
He was my tutor at the Uni, and was head of department. As I recall a top bloke.
It has a nostalgic yearning for the days when local teams were supported by local people and paints a sorry picture of meddling billionaires, and the hapless blazerati of the administrative layers of football.
It is a very readable book, obviously written by a true football lover as it is packed with statistics, anecdotes and the minutest of detail.
I could not put it down over the summer holiday and highly recommend it.I don't have so much of a problem with money and football. I'd rather have Robinho and Scolari and Tevez and Torres and Capello here rather than elsewhere.
At the end of the day, 90 minutes of football is 90 minutes of football, and there is nothing to beat it.
Quote of the week: "The game is a lesser game without Kevin Keegan." - Roy Keane
Friday, August 15, 2008
Best Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
"I wonder what would happen if Franz Ferdinand were assassinated" - Glenn Wool
"The Olympics are for everyone, not just someone who happens to own a dancing horse" - Glenn Wood, on dressage
"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward" - Tom Stade
"Glasgow has its own version of Monopoly - just one big square that reads "Go To Jail" - Des Clarke
"A problem shared is attention gained" - Pippa Evans
"I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection" - Jon Richardson
"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" - Rick Shapiro
"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" - Stephen Brown
"I don't hate Germans. I just miss my grandparents" - Ian Stone
"My boyfriend likes to role play. He likes to pretend we are married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" - Joanna Neary
