Open letter to Rafa

Dear Rafa,

Go see and see Mr George Gillett and Mr Tom Hicks and please pick 2 out of the following 3: -

• - Dimitar Berbatov, go up to £20m
• - Carlos Tevez, go up to £15m
• - Samuel Eto'o, go up to £25m

Don't go anywhere near Michael Owen or Owen Hargreaves, because.....I'm not sure why not.

And don't go anywhere near Arjen Robben, because he is a complete #*&%.

By the way, Javier Mascherano - fucking good purchase, he is fucking brilliant.

Good luck in Athens.

Oh yes, and I loved your buddha style seated position on the pitch during the penalties against Chelsea in the Champions League semi-final. That is the most original thing I have seen a manager do on a football pitch since David Pleat did his cream suit and cream shoes and Luton staying up in 1983 dance.

Thanks,

Lord Iacobovits of Colindale