Winners and losers

"It means we have won every title in English football in the three years I have been at the club." - Jose Mourinho

I watched the FA Cup Final with my uncle Chris in the Five Bells pub in East Finchley, and I was one of maybe 5 people who cheered that great move and Drogba goal. (The only consolation for Man Utd fans is their mistaken belief that fouling the goalie is an acceptable way of barging the ball over the line. They have other consolations too this season, like the best player and the best scoring record, and the Premiership).

b

The pub was full of idiotic Arsenal fans, who sang tedious songs about Ashley Cole that had nothing to do with football.

b

I was rooting for Jose because I like him a lot. He has raised the bar in English football just that little bit higher. Along with Ferguson, Wenger and Benitez, he has made the Premiership unquestionably the best league in the world. And he says what he thinks.

I think he gets bad press because, like Blair, he is a winner, and the English are just jealous of winners. Actually, it is not jealousy. It is misunderstanding. Two consecutive Premierships for a run-of-the-mill club with no history is an incredible achievement in his first two seasons in England.

b

In England to win is somehow shoddy. Mediocrity is the normal expectation - just look at the highest English achievers and the English national teams in every single sport - football, cricket, tennis.

b

Tim Henman was a hero, because he is a zero. I dread the banal, dry, clue-less support that Andy Murray will get from banal, dry and clue-less people each July on Murray Mound, as he inches like a slug into his years of dreary underachievement, dashed hopes and false expectations.

b

My eyes roll skywards, and I look for my next Meditteranean hero or heroine to cheer on.